Stop snitchin'...

The Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency (SMPA) has a website. The have a section called the “Foreigner’s Room.” It’s pretty much just a message board where people can ask (in)valid questions to the police, and snitch on people for shit.

Earlier today, there was a post titled “Illegal Hockey.” It’s gone now. The complaint was that there is a foreigner illegally coaching hockey here in Seoul.

See, most of us foreigners have an E-2 teaching visa that clearly states that it’s illegal to have any other job or any other form of income. Even if, for instance, you are coaching a hockey team of six year old Korean kids, you are technically breaking the law when you accept pay.

The guy who wrote this complaint actually gave the arena address and the time when he will be coaching the kids.

Just imagine it. You are a six year old kid and the police storm onto the ice and arrest your coach!

Hopefully, someone who knows this coach saw the post and managed to tell him that the SMPA are onto him.

Besides stupid pricks ratting on people, there are also a lot of asshole foreigners asking many a dumb question. I don’t intend to be one of these foreigners, but I don’t know if I can resist.

This is maybe the funniest post I’ve read thus far.

Bearded man in Sadang area

I would like to report a sighting of a bearded man in the Sadang area. I saw him entering Sadang subway station at approximately 6pm on Saturday. As I am sure you are aware, beards (especially ginger-coloured) are illegal in most countries in the West. I assume that the same laws exist here in Korea. I await news of action taken.

Funny? Yes.

But what validates the humour is the reply by the police.

beared…

Thank you for visiting the Seoul Metropolitan Police Agency(SMPA) Website.

As you know, Korea is a democratic republic, so people can make they style as much as they want. That is definitely legal style.

Thank you

Do they have shit like this in Canada??

There are so many problems with this that I don’t even know when to start. Any site where people rat on people just pisses me off.

Also, what if there was a real criminal out there, but he checked the site everyday? He could, in theory, know what the police are up to.

I’ve heard stories of people who have been reported for drug use. Someone saw their names on the SMPA page and told them before the police came. Apparently, those people left Korea immediately, breaking their contracts and disabling all cell phone, Facebook accounts, etc.

Whether this is true or not is not really the point. My point is that it’s fucked up that some Korean with a chip on his shoulder can potentially cause a lot of problems for something that is not causing any problems.

Let’s say you break up with your Korean girlfriend. She knows that you were back home a month ago and probably smoked some pot. She logs on, anonymously, and soon the police are at this guy’s door. Maybe she doesn’t really want him to get in trouble but she is pissed off and emotional and makes a rash decision.

Not sure if that would ever happen, but anything is possible over in these parts, especially with girls (but that goes for any country…).

Anyway, it’s a funny site. I can’t say that I discovered it. I was reading an online ‘zine called “Broke in Korea.” I guess you can call it a punk ‘zine and it has some good articles.

There are some really interesting pictures of abandoned buildings and a good rant about the Korean punk scene needing an STD, but what I really want you to check out is the section “The Seoul Metro.” It is a collection of some of the funnier and more outlandish posts made on the SMPA webpage. Definitely a great read. Beards, prostitutes, DJ’s…

I also have to say the guy who put the ‘zine together was very helpful for helping me (shit, I couldn’t figure out a better way to write that sentence) figure out how to post on the SMPA page. The trick is, you actually don’t need a user name or password. Just type some random shit. But more importantly, don’t use any punctuation, such as apostrophes and quotation marks. Apparently, it may mess with the page’s code?

Now you have the power to get anyone you want harassed by the police!

Unfortunately, my first post was only there for an hour or so and then it disappeared.

But Wayne Lemieux will not rest until ice hockey is stopped here. I don’t want Korea playing Canada’s game, but more importantly, mastering Canada’s game, and then kicking our ass in the next Olympics.

So I’m on a mission.

And yeah, that’s definitely legal style.