This is Ricardo speaking...

Me and Daniel and Matt worked at a call centre called Infotell about five years back in St. Johns. Daniel began working there a week earlier than me and Matt, but we all quit, Daniel a day earlier than us.

On the second day Matt brought some scotch tape so he could tape down the little button on the phone and act like he was actually calling people and doing work.

We walked out after lunch and returned two weeks later to get out checks.

The point is that I was a pretty good at selling "British Business Directories" for one of two reasons. The first possibility is that my phone name was Ricardo because someone named Richard already worked there so I had to choose a new name.

The second possibility is that I decided to imitate the voice of my junior high school principal who we referred to as "Radical Ralph." He had a very relaxed, comforting tone and his intonation always seemed to decline, even when it shouldn't.

We called that place Infohell.

The manager was gay.