Thursday, May 24, 2007

More on The Hermit Kingdom...

I want to write more about North Korean "vacation" but there's not much to really talk about because we weren't really allowed to do anything.

It was more like going to a resort that you couldn't leave so I'm just gonna talk about a few pictures I took.

In this picture you see me drinking water and a bunch of South Koreans getting some water.

This ain't just any water though. This is special spring water that actually makes you ten years younger. After I drank it I felt great, and well, a little immature.

They say if you're greedy and drink too much of this water that you'll end up back in your mother's womb because you'll be so young. I didn't wanna test this theory so I just drank a little.

This picture was taken from the bus after we went through North Korean immigration. You can see a picture of Kim Il-sung on the building. It sucked because we weren't supposed to take picture's from the bus and they had soldiers all along the road watching us. If they see you taking pictures from the bus they hold up a red flag and then all of the buses have to stop. Soldiers will then come on the bus and kill you or something. I'm not sure what they do actually, maybe they just delete your pictures if they can figure out how to use the camera.

The lack of propaganda was actually the most disappointing part about the trip. I was expecting big pictures of the Kims everywhere but I only saw two. There were many signs but I can't read Korean so I don't know what they said. There were also a lot of inscriptions on the mountains and rocks that I couldn't read.

This picture was taken after the acrobatics performance. The show was truly impressive but we weren't allowed to take pictures. We could only take snaps when the show was over. The music for the show was actually performed by a live orchestra on the balcony.

My favorite performance was this chick who had three full wine glasses on a tray and a thin sword a few feet long. I can't remember exactly how this went but I think she took the sword, tilted her head back, put the sword in her mouth, then balanced the tray on the sword. This was impressive enough but she kept stepping it up.

A trapeze then lowered from above and she was hoisted up. She was hanging on the trapeze by her legs and started swinging back and forth. She still had the tray of wine glasses balanced on the sword that was in her mouth. She changed positions a few times all while swinging and the concentration and skill that went into this was unbelievable. I'm pretty good at balancing and stuff. I can ride a bike really really good, even with no hands, but the performance she was putting on was much better.

Still in awe of this swinging lady, she once again turned it up another notch. She took a large ring and started swinging it on her leg, then she started juggling with her hands.

So she's now swinging on a trapeze balancing a tray of glasses on a sword that she's holding in her mouth, swinging a ring on the leg, and juggling. Crazy!

Say what you want about Kim Jung-il and his tyrannical regime but damn, the man knows how to put on a good acrobatics show. That's more than can be said for most world leaders.

We also weren't allowed to take any pictures of North Korean people but I did anyway. I walked along with my camera held in front of my stomach and happened to get this picture. It's my favorite picture from the entire trip. Those two men are North Koreans as you can tell by the pin on their shirts. All North Koreans have to wear Kim Il-sung their pins all the time and they get new pins on certain holidays.

The guy with his hand on his head is like a big metaphor for something to do with North Korea. Their plight, their hardships, their struggles.

I'm not exactly sure what that metaphor is but it's probably something like "Man, it's warm in these black clothes on this sunny day" or maybe "Why did god create me this way. I don't want to be this way anymore, but that young white boy in front of me is so damn hot that I can't look at him any longer without my heart breaking."

I hope it was the first one because I wouldn't wanna be forced to tell the other North Korean dude that his buddy is a fruit. He doesn't seem to be the open-minded type.

Here's another picture of that dude. This time he's contemplating something. Again, a great picture that can be used as some kind of analogy for North Korea. And again, the exact wording isn't coming to me as simply as I would like it to, but I have a few ideas.

Maybe the analogy is something like "I feel that myself, like my country, is just a woman trapped in a man's body" or maybe "I wish my country was not so poor because then I could get that sex change I've been dreaming of since I was 13."

Of course, the woman is a symbol of democracy and the man being hardliner communism. The sex change is a symbol for his countries desire to change over to the free market system, and more importantly, to allow him to make some bucks to get a set of breasts.

I almost feel bad for making fun of this poor man who lives in the most repressed country on Earth, but thankfully I don't feel bad. Yes, I do pity him a little but he probably lives better than 95% of North Koreans. And also, laughter is the best medicine right?

I'm sure he probably got some shit wrote about me on his blog too.

No comments: